Tomorrow my oldest little boy is turning 4 years old! I can't believe it.. Not that it didn't seem like a lifetime ago that I gave birth to him... Because it really does feel like more than 4 years have passed by. I just can't believe that he's that old! Only 1 and a half more years til he starts Kindergarten. Four years ago it was really hard to imagine him at this age.

He and I have been through a lot in his short little life. I gave birth to him while my (ex) husband was deployed to Iraq. We had to figure out everything on our own for the first couple months of his life. (With the help of my mom of course!) Once my (ex) husband returned from Iraq it was still mostly just Camron and I on our own. He was gone most of the time... And I'm not talking about deployments... He worked all day and stayed out all night.

When my ex decided to leave us I was pregnant with Camron's little brother Brady. My baby boy and I started an all new chapter of our lives together. He wasn't even 2 yet. His little brother was born just 2 short weeks after his second birthday. Together we adjusted to a new home (my mom's) and a new baby in our lives.

Four short months later is when I met and fell in love with my (now) husband, Josh. He loved my boys and my boys loved him. We got married that year when Camron was almost 3 and Brady was 9 months old. So once again Camron and I (and now Brady) had to adjust to a new life, new home and new family.

As you can imagine it's been a looooooong four years for us!

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Now that it's towards the end of December we're almost through 2 of 4 birthdays. We celebrated Josh's last week and we'll celebrate Camron's tomorrow. Time is FLYING by! As I imagined it would at this time. Next up will be Christmas Eve at my mom's house. Christmas day with Josh's parents and my grandparents.

On Sunday we'll be taking down all the Christmas decorations... because on Monday I'll be bringing in all the baby stuff in preparation for Josiah's arrival! I'm so anxious to get started. (I'll be 35 weeks along next week! In the picture to the left I'm 34 weeks exactly.) I'm already trying so hard to suppress my nesting urge to rearrange the living room and the boys room and scrub every surface in sight! I can't wait to go through all the baby stuff and set things up the way I need them for J's homecoming.

Speaking of his homecoming, there's still a few things that we need to go buy for him. Kinda stressing about it because I realized that we weren't going to have as much money as I thought we would next month. Unfortunately it's only the expensive stuff we're needing. (Besides a few billion diapers of course!)

- A crib - Not only did Josh just break ours on accident, but it's being recalled along with all the other drop side cribs. It's only good as a toddler bed now. Luckily it's not something that we need right away since J will be sleeping in the bassinet that a friend gave me.

- A stroller/car seat combo - Ok, so it doesn't have to be a combo, but it would be nice. Main concern is a car seat that will fit along with the other 2 car seats in the back.

- A swing - Again, it's not something that I need, but they're nice to have around when you need to place baby some where safe while you take care of other things... Or other kids. ;)

- Bunk Beds - Ok so this one isn't specifically for the baby, but when we get the crib we're going to need to get bunk beds for the older boys. Otherwise there's no way that 3 normal beds will fit in their small bedroom.

Obviously my main concern is a car seat. That will be the first thing we buy... even if it's not a stroller combo. I just hope we can buy it soon so I can stop stressing about it!

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Besides birthdays, holidays and baby J's arrival I'm also counting down the days to when my Bestie comes to visit! She's coming here just 2 days before my due date... So I'm not sure if I'll already have a baby in arms or if I'll go into labor right after she gets here. Either way will be fine with me! I just want to hang out and gossip like we used to. Her guess is that she'll be a week late in getting here in time for the birth. Josh's guess is the 27th and my guess is (or at least what I'm hoping for) is a Feb 1st baby. That way we have time before the birth to hang out. She'll be able to be there for the birth AND I'll probably be out of the hospital before she has to leave again back to St. Louis. Win Win all around. :) (But do I really want to still be pregnant that long?! Not that I have a choice, but I'm pretty much already done with this pregnancy. I'm ready to meet my little boy!)

Because I'm really feeling ready to have this baby. Not that I'm actually ready for the baby, but the end of this pregnancy has been really hard on me so far. I'll be 32 weeks tomorrow (12/5/10) and I just can't imagine going another 5-8 weeks. So what's bothering me you ask? Well...

Insomnia - For about the past month I haven't been able to sleep well at all and it's getting worse. Last month I was waking up at about 5am because baby was jumping on my bladder and I'd be up for the day. Not that big of a deal since the kids get up around 6:15 anyway. Last couple days though? 3:30am. I get up to use the bathroom and I'm awake for the rest of the day. It's awful. This morning I tried to lay in bed and go back to sleep. I laid there til about 5am. By that time I was SO hungry that I couldn't stand it any longer so I got up to eat. It's not easy to live on 5 hours (or less) of sleep when I have 2 little ones to take care of. And the worst part? I can't even try to go to bed early because I'll lay there awake feeling restless and eventually get up... making me stay up even later than I normally would have.

Heartburn - I thought I would get lucky with this pregnancy and not get it. I made it all the way to the end of my second trimester before I started getting awful heartburn again. Then suddenly, it went away for about 3 weeks in November! I was so excited to be able to eat food and enjoy it again! That didn't last. It's back and worse than before. Even drinking water causes it. It sucks.

Backaches/Chest Pain - This one is almost constant. Laying down. Standing up. Sitting up. My back always seems to feel like something is being pinched. Then depending on how I'm sitting or laying my chest starts hurting and I feel like I can't take deep breaths. Really? I'm only 32 weeks. Shouldn't this be coming on when I'm about 36 weeks?

Nausea/Short of Breath - This started about 2 weeks ago. Every.Single.Morning around the same time I'll suddenly feel very nauseous. My heart will start racing and I'll feel like I just went for a long run. Even when I'm not even doing anything! It will come on out of no where... even if I'm sitting on the couch. It only lasts about 30 min and I'll feel great the rest of the day. It's weird and very annoying when I have stuff do in the mornings.

Itchy Skin - No amount of lotion or baby oil will make my belly stop itching. I hate it.

Hunger! - OMG I've never been so hungry in my life! I am ALWAYS hungry. I don't remember being this hungry with my first 2 pregnancies. I remember eating pretty much the same amount that I did pre-pregnancy. I was the same way with this one up until about a week or 2 ago. Now I'm just starving all day long. Luckily I don't buy snacks... otherwise I'd be well on my way to gaining a good 50 lbs by now. (As of yesterday I'm up 19 lbs... Not exactly where I wanted to be at this point, but I'm ok with 19.)

and last but not least...

Braxton Hicks Contractions - This isn't something new for me. With my first 2 pregnancies I got them all the time. This pregnancy is no different. My stomach seems to hurt 24/7. It doesn't help when Baby J starts kicking and stretching when I get the contractions either. He is strong! He's actually made me jump and say "Ow!". I think I have a little football player in there.

So now that I'm done complaining I should say that despite how uncomfortable I've been for the past couple weeks baby and I are doing really well. :) Baby J is measuring about a week and a few days ahead... and I'm thinking he's going to be a big baby like his older brother. He's super active and gets hiccups all the time. All my tests have come back normal so far and I'm hoping everything continues to go smoothly.

So far, so good... but seriously, is it January yet?

Last night I received an e-mail from someone on Etsy telling me that one of my purses made it on a Treasury List! This might not be a big deal to some, but to me it made my whole day. To be hand picked from thousands of undiscovered (meaning I've had zero sales so far) shops and added to this list is a huge honor for me. Not sure if a sale will actually come of this, but still... any kind of good exposure like that is pretty cool.

You can find the list here.
My item is the Buttercup Bag in the bottom row.

I know I'm such an awful blogger these days... I've been so busy and I never seem to get the chance to sit down to type things out. Let's see, in the past month my hubby and I had our one year anniversary. We took a two week road trip to St. Louis, MO and back. And I've started yet another online business.

Since I've already written about my oh-so-wonderful husband in my last post I'll get straight into our road trip! (I'll do a separate post some day soon with pictures and all the details.)  Long story short it was fun, long and stressful at times. On our first day we drove from Southern California to Albuquerque, NM. That night we stayed in an awful motel. None of us slept very well and we were on the road again by 4am... The second day was from Albuquerque to Oklahoma City. Some of Josh's friends moved there recently and they were nice enough to let us stay the night with them. From Oklahoma City we drove up to St Louis, MO where my best friend and her family moved back to last year. We stayed there for about a week.. Saw tons of beautiful sights and are lots of yummy food! (I gained 7 pounds. Opps.) While we were there we also took a mini road trip up to Nauvoo, IL to see the Nauvoo Temple and all the other Mormon sights up that way. It was gorgeous. When we left St Louis we headed over to Colorado Springs, CO. Let me just say that I HATE COLORADO. Oh my goodness, I really hated it there. It was mostly google maps fault, but still. It was freezing and snowing and the roads were icy. I cried several times just because I wanted to get out of that state so badly. From Colorado we headed towards Blanding, UT where Josh's grandma, aunts and cousins live. (And yes, the city really is as bland as it sounds.) Nice to visit, but I just can't do a small city like that... 2 days was plenty for me. From Utah we headed back home to San Diego. Home sweet home! We had some pretty cool adventures. The boys did AWESOME. I got TONS of great pictures. Hopefully I can manage to post some of them soon. :)

So the other thing I've been up to lately is my new online business...

I've opened my own Etsy shop this past weekend! (http://www.cambraycreations.etsy.com) With my new sewing machine and all this fabric I have.. and my need to buy even more of it... I decided maybe this would be a great way to help fund my addiction to sewing and buying fabric. I really didn't think I was good enough to actually sell anything I made, but lots of my friends, family and strangers I've talked to in public have convinced me otherwise. So I went for it. I made a bunch of stuff and I posted it for sale in my store. Now I just wait and see if anyone actually likes my stuff enough to buy it lol.

Here's a couple of the things I've done over the past month (Not all of it is listed in my store.. some have been sold and some I kept for myself):




So that's what I've been up to...

Oh yeah and I'm already over 29 weeks pregnant today! I can't believe I only have about 8-11 weeks left... I'm feeling really unprepared. It's just sneaking up on me way too fast... I'm trying not to worry about it too much right now. I just want to get through the holidays and all of our birthdays before getting into full on baby-mode. The week after Christmas though, it's on!

With our one year anniversary fast approaching (October 16th) I've been thinking a lot about how much my life has changed... Not just this past year, but the past several. I've got to say, this has certainly been one of the best! I'm happy and most importantly my kids are happy.

I cannot express in words how much I appreciate my husband and our new life together. I am so thankful for everything that he's done for me, the boys and our family. He stepped in and stepped up when he really didn't have to. He's more than just a step dad to Camron and Brady. In fact, the words 'step dad' never enter my mind unless some one else points it out. He IS their dad. Period.

Josh has been here for us since Brady was only 4 months old and Camron was 2.5 years old. Josh was the one there who witnessed all of Brady's major milestones. Rolling over, crawling, sitting up, pulling up, standing up, walking, talking, etc. He has been there for Camron in all the ways a dad should be there for his son... teaching him how to be a good big brother and showing him right from wrong.

Josh is the one who provides for us and makes sure we're never going without any of life's necessities. When Camron needs new shoes or clothes it's Josh who takes him out shopping. When Brady needs more diapers it's Josh who comes with us to the store.

My marriage to Josh is such a sharp contrast to my previous marriage... I was always doing things on my own. Very, very rarely did we ever do anything as a family. Even after Camron was born. Josh on the other hand, wouldn't have things any other way. He comes home right after work every day so we can eat together at our dinner table as a family. He spends every weekend with us doing something as a family. All of the grocery shopping is done as a family. He insists on doing it all with us. (Of course there are times now and then where we each go do our own thing, but it's not the norm.)

Now don't get me wrong, it's not all rainbows and unicorns 24/7. We have had our ups and downs... like every couple. I'm sure there are plenty more disagreements and petty little fights in our future... (mainly because we're both so hard headed!) But we handle them and we move on (because we also easily forgive and forget).

I'm looking forward to all the years to come as we enter new chapters in our lives. I have no doubt that Josh will be right there by my side through it all. He has definitely come through for me and our boys and I couldn't be happier. I love him so much and I'm thankful that Heavenly Father helped guide us to one another (because I have no doubt that he had a hand in all of this). He knew just what I was looking for and needed in a husband and I am so thankful I have found everything and more in Josh.

Happy Anniversary Babe. <3

So this is me at 20 weeks along... I'm now at almost 23 weeks and pretty much looking the same. Baby Josiah is kicking around like crazy. I swear he thinks he's a ninja and he's trying to kick his way out! This baby seems to be a lot more active in my belly than the last 2.... Or maybe I've just forgotten what it was like when they still have lots of room to swim around.

As far as weight gain goes I think I'm doing pretty well. According to my home scale I've gained a total of 5lbs. Although that was about a week and a half ago. I'm guessing I've added at least another pound since then. (Cheesecake, eating out and a chocolate milkshake can do that to you. In my defense though I had a chicken salad when we went out to eat! Ok, ok... I had some onion rings with it too... and some of Josh's nachos.)  Hoping to gain no more than 25lbs this pregnancy. We'll see if I can pull it off again.

The boys and I have been pretty busy lately. Once a week we go to the local library for storytime and check out lots of books. The boys love it. They sing songs, read books, dance and usually have some sort of craft at the end. I like taking them since Camron isn't going to be attending a preschool.

Speaking of preschool we've actually started a homeschool preschool this past week. Camron loves it. We've been doing activities on and offline during Brady's naptime everyday. He's already learning so much! I'm amazed at how quick he's taking it all in. Within 3 days he can now identify several letters and numbers, he knows how to build a simple puzzle, learned how to use the computer mouse and we're working on sight words for his colors. If anyone is interested, we're using the free program on Head of the Class. My plan is to get through the preschool this school year then start the kindergarten one next year... He doesn't HAVE to start school for another 2 years and if this goes well we might end up doing homeschool. I'm still debating it... I might change my mind once #3 gets here.

The other thing that's been keeping me super busy (as if my life isn't busy enough already!) Josh bought me a new sewing machine a few weeks ago! My old cheap machine decided to die on me one day in the middle of a project... This new machine is such a dream to work with compared to my old one. I'm in love. Ever since the day we bought it I've sewn at least one thing ever day. I'm learning lots of new techniques and doing things I've never done before... like a zipper! (I've decided that I hate zippers by the way.) Many of the things I'm making I'm posting on my new blog: Pretty Little Crafts. (Feel free to follow me on there!) The blog is also a way for me to organize my "to-do" list of crafts/sewing projects/recipes I really want to try out. (I have a huge list of different websites sitting in my favorites folder... this is just my way of better organizing them!)

I think that's it for now... I'll try to update again soon! You can always checkout my craft blog in the meantime... I've been posting something everyday! :)

How far along?
16 Weeks

Baby is the size of an:
Avocado!



Total weight gain:
Still don't know! I have an OB appointment on Friday though... so the day of truth is coming. :)

Maternity clothes?
Oh yeah. Maternity clothes all the way. So much more comfy!

Stretch marks?
Same as last week... no new ones.

Sleep:
Still normal. Still having really weird dreams.

Best moment this week:
Feeling the baby move for the first time! And deciding that I needed to take a belly pic!

Movement?
Yup! Felt the baby move for the first time this week. I was in my room reading a book on my bed while laying half on my side and half on my stomach... Suddenly I felt some definite movement in my belly. I think I was squishing the baby. Guess I can't lay on my tummy any more.

Food cravings?
Mexican food!

Showing?
Looking more round by the week.

I knew that you didn't really care when you went 18 months without seeing the boys (Brady was 2 days old and Camron had just turned 2) and had only called me about 5 times... and not to talk to them or even ask about them, but to talk to me about child support. You would make excuses about not having enough money to fly out here. Or your one legitimate excuse about being deployed to Japan for 6 months...

So when you called me last month about coming out here to visit with the boys you can understand why I was so suspicious about your sudden interest. Why did you care to see them now? Why after a year and a half did you want to see them? I asked myself this over and over... I just didn't get. You just don't do things like that unless there's something in it for you.

On August 2nd you and I planned to meet at Sea World so you could spend some time seeing the boys. (I laughed at you when you asked to take them over night for a day or two. Haha you're crazy!) I thought it was really weird that you were bringing your new girlfriend with you. I guess I just figured that she had flown out here with you and wanted to see the sights that SD had to offer. Who wouldn't want to go to Sea World, right?

I'm sorry (well not really) if you felt offended that I didn't want them to call you daddy. I really don't think you've earned that title... They have a daddy who loves them and I just didn't think that it would be fair to them to confuse them even more than they had to be. They were after all, meeting a complete stranger. I think it was fair to tell them that you're their biological father named Ronnie. Of course they're way too young to know what that means. They'll understand more as they get older.

I told you that Brady wouldn't have anything to do with you. He's going through a stage where he will not even look at a stranger... let alone allow one to talk to him. I warned you.

Of course Camron is such a sweet boy that he gets along with everyone. Don't feel too special because he was warming up to you. Most 3 year olds will do that to anyone who will show them an ounce of attention. Especially when they're bought stuff... They will take what ever they can get their lil hands on!

So by the end of the day I had the chance to talk to the new gf.... Imagine my surprise when she told me that she had flown out here from Japan and mentioned that she's stationed out there. AND that you two had met out there. Hmm.... does ex wife #3 know about this? That you left her and your fourth son for another woman... Karma really is a you know what. Can I just say, I told you so? Yeah, I told you so.

Anyway, that STILL didn't explain why she had met you out here in SD and not back in SC where you actually live. I didn't really question it, but it was always in the back of my mind. I thought that maybe you were just trying to kill two birds with one stone. I really thought that maybe, just maybe you actually wanted to see the boys and to get to know them. Why I always think the best of you, I'll never know.

When we left Sea World you made it seem like you were thinking of seeing the boys some more before you left. After all, you were staying in SD a whole week or more... I should have known better. I haven't heard from you since. Oh yeah, except for the time when I contacted you via text 2 days later... mentioning that a mutual friend had told me that you had a facebook page and if you wanted to you could find me and add me as a friend so you could feel more included in the boys lives. I was willing to give up some of MY privacy so that you could watch your boys grow up. I told you that I have a million pictures of them up on my profile and that about 95% of my updates are about them. You told me that as soon as you had access to the internet again you would do that. It's been over a week... I don't think you had any plan what-so-ever to do that. Fine by me. I'd rather keep my life and your life as separate as possible anyway. Just don't say that I ever tried to keep them from you.

It wasn't until later on when I was dishing to my BFF about our day that she did some super sleuthing and found out the real reason why you and the new gf were in town. Apparently she (along with her whole family) had come to SD to watch her brother graduate from Navy Boot Camp on August 3rd... and then celebrate with him while he was on leave. No wonder we just had to go to Sea World on the 2nd. Couldn't do anything while the family was in town, right?

I'm sure the 3-4 hour visit with the boys was just to show your new gf that you're not a complete a-hole. Gotta keep up appearances, right? Always trying to show yourself in a good light. Can't have her thinking bad about you already... She'll learn. Just like ex wife #1 did, I did and ex wife #3 did. Could she be future ex wife #4? I think there's a good possibility. Only time will tell.

Please just do me a favor next time, k? Don't use my children as your little pawns in this game of yours. They deserve better. Either be in their lives or don't! This sporadic visitation is not going to fly with me.

I'm sure I'll be hearing from you again in 2 years. Talk to you then.....

How far along?
15 Weeks
Baby is the size of a:
Naval Orange! Average size: 5 inches and 3.5 oz.

Total weight gain:
Honestly, I have no idea yet. We don't have a scale here at home... I should really work on getting one. I've been doing a lot of walking lately though and I'm hoping that I haven't gained too much.
Maternity clothes?
Nothing fit right! Regular clothes are too tight and maternity clothes are just a tad too loose still. I hate it. I can't wait to get the cute preggo belly to show off! Right now I just feel really fat.

Stretch marks?
Same as week 13.. no new ones.

Sleep:
Still normal. Just been having some really weird dreams lately. 

Best moment this week:
Knowing that in the next couple weeks or so I'll be able to feel the baby move inside of me!

Movement?
Not yet. 

Food cravings?
Nothing really. Just really, really thirsty! I have something with me to drink all day.

Showing?
Oh yes. My belly isn't exactly round yet... I look like I'm super bloated and like I've gained 5lbs.