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One Step Forward, Two Steps Back?

My mom and step dad got back together last night.

I don't really know what to think of this... She's told me that she never wanted any of this to happen in the first place. She didn't want to get a divorce. He kept telling her that it was over and that divorce was the only way. Friday morning she did what she thought she had to do in order to protect herself and that was to file for divorce...

Apparently, reality set in when he was served with the divorce papers. I'm sure it made him realized that my mom was trying to move on with her life. They spent 6 hours on the phone on Friday night. On Saturday they spent 8 hours sitting in my mom's car talking about everything. He's still giving her a hard time. She's still having to prove to him that she didn't cheat.

Last night she called me to ask what the Sprint username/password were for my account that her phone is under. She wanted to figure out if she could get the actual transcripts of the texts that were sent over the past couple weeks. He was trying to see if her and her co-worker were still carrying on with the "affair". Of course, I'm just guessing at the reason... she didn't actually tell me why she wanted to see the transcripts.

In my not so humble opinion, I think that them getting back together is a huge mistake. He's done and said some really horrible things that I just can't forgive him for. Not right now anyway. He's called my brother a lot of names and said that he's never liked him. He's said some bad things about my sister and her husband. He left my niece homeless for several days starting on Christmas Eve.

(Funny because my mom was trying to tell me last night that despite what I might feel about him, he's a really good grandpa and loves his grandchildren.... Hmm... kicking out your granddaughter and her parents and refusing to let them come back in for them to get her clothes, diapers, food, etc... Yeah, what a great grandpa he is. I don't care if he was mad at my mom or not. No reason to do that to a child.)

Josh doesn't want H to have anything to do with our kids. He doesn't even want to take them over there to see my mom. If she wants to see them she can come over to our house (without him). My mom is upset about this... I'm not going to argue with my husband. I support him in this decision. Not saying it's right or wrong. I just support him. If H wants to talk to Josh about it, so be it. Leave me out please.

Oh and the worst best worst part about all of this is that he will probably be disabled for the rest of his life. (Which is the reason he's still here and never returned to work in Las Vegas.) My mom thinks it's going to be great because he's going to be home all the time now. Isn't she realizing that he's going to be home and making her life miserable? He's going to hold all kinds of things over her head. He's going to constantly be questioning her on where she's going. Who she's going with. He'll be checking her e-mail and her phone records... And my mom will let him do all of it. She wants to keep the peace. She just wants her husband back. I don't think she cares about the price she has to pay for it.

I know that it's her life and I don't get a say it. I know this. I just had to get it all out of my system.

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8 Responses
  1. Helene Says:

    Ugh, don't you just hate family drama?? I'm so sorry about all this...it does sound frustrating. If he's not the right guy for her, hopefully you're mom will figure it out soon enough.


  2. Shell Says:

    It's so hard when someone you love is doing something that you don't think is good for them.


  3. Karen Says:

    I am really sorry about all of this. Believe me when I say that I completely understand what you're going through. I've been there with my own mother and it never gets easier. Even now, when my mom is married to someone who is not physically abusive, I am hyper sensitive to every single rude thing he says, just because of everything that happened in the past.

    Anyway, long way of saying that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family and I hope your mom is able to have the strength to do what is really best for everyone.


  4. I'm so sorry, that is such a hard position to be in! You want to protect your family and decisions she is making are self destructive ones. I get she doesnt want to be alone and thats her choice but I am sure it is hard for you to watch.
    Good luck, hopefully she will realize what a mistake this is going to be.


  5. Unknown Mami Says:

    I'm sorry. This is messy complicated stuff. Just remember it really is your mother's journey and no matter what you feel, she's gonna do what she's gonna do.


  6. Life is sooo complicated sometimes, no? Hnag in there!
    Thanks for taking part in my feature day!


  7. My dear blogger-

    I have so enjoyed reading your blog and seeing your wonderful comments on my blog.

    But, I can't leave here without writing this. I know there is so much hurt and concern for your mother...I can't imagine.

    However, I just think you should reflect if you should write all this on your blog. I know you want to write your heart and how you feel...but this is really deep family issues that maybe the whole blog world should NOT know about.

    Just a thought..said out of love!
    Sandy Toe


  8. Ms Bibi Says:

    It's hard to be put in the middle of family drama.

    Thank you for stopping by.